I sat down not expecting much from Man U and Chelsea. Thinking it would resemble an F.A Cup Final and reflecting that games between the top four are more often than not complete pants.
My enjoyment wasn't added by my own stupidity of thinking for the first 20 minutes that the game was only on ITV. I hate Clive Tylsley and David Pleat. It is commentary for old grannies and people that don't usually watch football. He'd be good at Its a Knockout or Gladiators but not anything of importance. Luckily it hit me that messers Tyler and Gray (grrr) were over on Sky and I was soon engrossed in a trance like state in that way only football can induce. How does it make minutes pass by in seconds so you are aware that its about 8pm, and the next time you look at the clock its after 11?
I felt Ronaldo deservedly put United ahead with an excellent header showing that he can do it with other parts of his body too as well as his feet. Then United played some beautiful football creating chances that Tevez should've scored. Had the move where Rooney won the ball near his own corner flag and passed it diagonally the length of the pitch to Ronaldo before Tevez missed gone in it would've been the best goal I'd seen since Owen scored against the Argies 10 years ago (with apologies to Chris Eagles effort which I'd place 3rd).
Lamps then got lucky to put Chelsea level which you couldn't really begrudge him.
Second half was all about Chelsea and Man U were lucky to still be in the game, mainly thanks to their goalpost.
In extra time I felt they cancelled each other out and it was nice of Drogba to end some extra entertainment in getting sent off.
The whole staged scenario of what to do if a player goes down injured and then what to do when the ball comes back in is way way beyond a joke.
Joe Cole's decision to feign (?) cramp after he hadn't been awarded a foul showed just how crazy its got in that the ball was then put out. I don't believe Tevez was not going to give the ball back when the fun then started but he shouldn't have done. If a player is seriously injured provision is made in the rules for the ref to stop the game and a drop ball restart to take place. I think its fair that if the ref has stopped play and one team clearly has the advantage that the other team doesn't contest the drop ball. But if the ball is being contested at the time the ref stops play, or if neither side has clear control or advantage of it, then the drop ball should be fought over in that way we all used to love.
What followed was mainly handbags, but the common consensus on the tv was that you can't go round touching people on the face in front of the ref, which was the only crime Drogba was really guilty of. I admit he didn't do it in a very pleasant way and you'd be hacked off if someone came up to you in the street and did it, but was it really any worse than anything else that went on during the melee?
Extra time ended and we had the fun prospect of penalties in the pour raining in Russia at 1.30am in the morning. It sounds like some bizarre dream, but no, it was really happening.
The first four all went in with no trouble and then came Ronaldo. And you just knew. He looked nervous, in that 'I'm nervous but I'm going to try and look confident' way and when he kissed the ball it was a dead giveaway. Even more stupidly he then tried to do that stopping and starting again thing to make the keeper look silly. No wonder Petr Cech saved. I can't remember many of these that have ever worked. That bloke tried it in Sunderland's playoff and caused Mick McCarthy to have a fit. Arsenal tried that thing where you pass it to another player (obviously not an option in a shootout) and missed. Just blast it in Owen Hargreaves style.
It got tense as Chelsea took a 4-3 lead with one each to go and Nani needed to score to stay in the game, but he slotted home coolly.
Then came John Terry. I will admit I'm not keen on him. I feel the whole rebirth of him as a warrior and Mr.Chelsea was, I think, a bit of a media management exercise done because it became necessary once he was one of England's best central defenders to give him an acceptable image that the big wigs at the FA wouldn't mind having as captain. Why Steve McLaren decided to chose him over Stevie Gerrard god only knows but it says something that McLaren is now commentating for 5 Live on their B-List games rather than being driven around by Brian Barwick. Please Fabio don't make the same mistake.
Any-way Terry made the long walk looking nervous whilst both messers Tyler and Gray got excited as they knew either way this was going to be the big story. Terry ran up and slipped at the vital moment sending the ball wide.
It was one of those fantastic football moments. Pure pantomime.
I do hope that later when Terry was walking past the hotel bar some Americans were in there imitating a man slipping over at the vital moment when taking a penalty. If so, maybe he'll have felt just 0.000001% of how that other group of Americans must have felt when he decided to make imitate airplanes shortly after the 9/11 disaster. To put it in context the only other people I know of that found 9/11 funny were primary school boys of an age not to know any better. Yes, we all make mistakes, but I can't think of anyone I know that would do anything quite so cruel and callous.
The next two went in and then the only survivor from 1999 Ryan Giggs put United 6-5 up.
And then who else but Nicolas Anelka stepped up. Before he took it you suddenly realised that the script had been written Man U's way with the nice twist in the tale that made it look like Ronaldo would be the villain and Terry the hero. But, oh no. Van Der Sar saved and United had done it.
Terry couldn't stop crying, ala, Gazza from Italia 90 and it was funny. Really funny. Ronaldo too shed some tears of relief. Man U made Chelsea feel worse by forming a guard of honour as they went up to get their losers medals. Peter Kenyon went up too (the arrogance of the man is unbelievable) and got his just desserts as the whole of Europe were treated to the 'Peter Kenyon, what a w**ker' chant. The night just kept getting better.
Bobby Charlton led United up the stairs to get their medals, a lovely touch given the recent 50th anniversary of the Munich disaster. Rio Ferdinand and Ryan Giggs lifted the cup and Fergie couldn't stop beaming, not smiling but actually beaming. His reddened cheeks making him look like the Teletubbies baby all grown up at sunset.
It was just brilliant entertainment. A great match even if you didn't know the characters involved. But made even better by having a streak of traditional Hollywood narrative running through it, where, in the end, mostly good things happened to the people you like and mostly the baddies got what was coming to them in the end.
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